Excitement...
I just got an email from our CM that we are allowed to send a care package to Derek. We don't have an address yet but hope to within a few days. I am already starting to contemplate what to put in the box. I will make a small album of a few pictures with American & Vietnamese translation in hopes the nannies will show him the book frequently. I will also send a blankie and a few toys. I am going to put something in for each of the children there. I can't wait to send it off to him. This brings much contentment to the fear of him not coming home. I now feel more confident that Derek will be HOME it will just be a little more time.

I am so nervous....
As most of you know, Vietnam time is 12 hours ahead of us here so that will officially make tonight November 1st there and as we lay our heads onto our pillows tonight and TRY to fall asleep the anticipation of "The Meeting" taking place there will mount inside if us. This will be a meeting that will hopefully be successful and provide us a light at the end of this hellish long tunnel. It will be the opportunity to demand the orphanage director to fix the baby dossiers and hopefully convince her to do it quickly. Wouldn't it be grand to get word for Christmas that our babies will soon be home. Today will be long and tomorrow even longer as we await our weekly update on Friay that will produce the results of "The Meeting" tonight.

On a side note, I wass cleaning up the yard and flower beds yesterday and poked myself in the corner of the eye with a branch (stupid move I know) and now have a dandy shiner. Makes for a diversion question for everyone to ask intead of an empty answered adoption question.

We received this update late this afternoon.....

J** has been working in Hanoi this week, but he is expecting the Nov 1st meeting to be a major event - PC officials, DOLISA, and the orphanage director will all attend the meeting, together with (Our Agency) representatives will keep families posted on the result of the meeting.

(Our Agency) has hired a local associate and a part time consultant in Da Nang in order to help J** deal with the L.C. orphanage affairs in a prompt manner. J** said he has more reasons to believe that the child dossiers can be fixed.

....so this is another positive side to our saga. We will anxiously await our update next week as that should really shed light on what needs to take place to correct the problem at hand.

Thanks again for your continued support and concern for our son and our family.

The uncertainty of this adoption we are swirled in the midst of has been udderly ridiculous and exhausting. I just feel like I can't go on fighting this. We now find out that the I600 form is going to be handled differently which for all of us who are going to be traveling (sometime) it is GOOD. It will most likely shed a week off of our in country stay. Lord knows this is good because I just want to get Derek in my home and move on with our lives. However...due to the fact that Derek's dossier is on screwed up mess with no end in sight to the repair of it, it could be an eternity yet until we get to the point of filing the I600. My concern is also that it is a 60 day process and there are documents in the baby dossier that must accompany the form and well.....the dossier is screwed up and the agency "has no access" to it. Therefore we don't even have an upfront abandonment report. I don't even know the real story as to how Derek got where he is. I have asked for it but was told there is "no access" to that information at this time. This whole process seems shady to me. Anyway I think it sounds like I am babbling so I will stop for now. We have also once again requested pictures and updates 2 weeks ago and still have not received any of that. As I sid before you would think this agency would be bending backwards for our comfort in the situation. Really with the agency president over there wouldn't you think taking a little time to send a few pictures and maybe a word or so about how Derek is doing would be the least the man could do. I realize he is busy trying to correct the problems that lie within the dossier mess but really a quick few pictures and we would be calmed for a week or so. We should be able to get something.
Okay I am stopping now.....

We got our update phone call this morning. we have been issued a form which might I add for those of you who have been following this for the duration...it is "THE FORM" that we have waited for since waaaay back when. We have been instructed to print the form, sign it, and FedEx it back to our CM for Monday. She will notarize it and send it off to the AZ office to forward to Vietnam. This is a step in a good direction. Not the end yet but a good step. We have been told that once the DIA has this document in our dossier they will forward it to the DOJ of Danang (where Derek is) and they can then beging their DEMAND for the orphanage director to fix her mistakes on the baby dossier and they will be matched together and the process will continue in a positive direction. I hope this means good and quick things are happening. I am setting our travel goal at May. It would be great to go before but I don't want to open a door that will once again slam on our noses. All in all I feel good about this news and I am looking forward to getting more info next week.

BTW did you all check out my new ticker????

Well tomorrow should be a BIG day. We are expecting some kind of news...hopefully I'm not setting myself up for a huge disappointment. News could come in many degrees at this point. I have requested from our agency updated pictures, measurements and the developmental update that I asked for 2 months ago and was promised. We'll see how compliant they choose to be at this point. We received our packet of info about the possible 2nd adoption we would like to dive into but have no energy to do so. It is financially hard for us to do but if it is meant to be we will find a way. If only I were a good fundraising type of person. I would never make a good salesgirl that's for sure.

On an exciting note we are making plans to hop a plane to California to spend a few days with Michelle & Jeff. I can't wait to see her again. I am really missing her. I think a little adoption bonding time is needed. Not to mention I can't wait to take my FIRST plane ride and to see L.A. This is going to be great!!!

Stay tuned for what I hope to be a "good" update tomorrow!!!

We still have nothing NEW to report here. We are expecting an update on Friday and hopefully it will be a GOOD one. Our agency forwarded out an update yesterday to all families in the VN program explaining the delay which I was glad to see them do this way everyone knows what is going on and what to expect. Naturally our paqperwork delay will cause a backload for the other families in line waiting. Seems so unfair. I never imagined we would get so tangled up in this type of web. I am still trying to sort out in my head how this all happened and I just can't get to a rational reasoning no matter how many angles I try to look at. I have sorta started slipping into my anxiety and semi depression mode. Last night we went to Gymboree to buy a gift card for a friend of ours (we chose to do a g.c. since I just can't think about going to see their new baby and hold her in my arms while I am longing so badly for Derek to be there) and I left the store in tears. I want to buy things for Derek and I can't because the situation is still so shaky and I don't know when or entirely "if" he's coming home for sure. This is so hard.
Well I am trying to occupy my time by cleaning up the basement. We just got the girls a treadmill so Alyssa can continue running during her sports off seasons(which are few and far between) so I had to make a little extra room. The salon is very quiet this week and I'm not sure if that is good or bad. It just gives me more time to sit and think and stir around on this crazy computer.
We have requested information from another agency about another adoption. We will still carry through with Derek's adoption because even though not legally yet we are his parents and he does belong here. We will pursue another country through a different agency and hope that it is a smoother transition than this one has been.
Well when we get that update on Friday I will post the news.

We received an update today that sounded a little more upbeat and positive. The PC has recommended that the adoptions be pursued and that it will just take more time (not sure how long yet) and that it is still possible that we will be bringing Derek home eventually. We hope that the documents are fixable in a timely manner and that it won't take months. We are supposed to be getting weekly updates on Fridays now from Vietnam. This is a good thing and we are looking forward to hopefully better news soon!!!!
Thanks again for your continued support!

Thank you to all who requested to continue to follow our adoption. We have not had any more news and we aren't anticipating any for about 2 more weeks. The wait has been gruelling and it isn't getting any easier. I have maintained strength through this and have relied alot on Ativan to get me through the panic attacks. Looking at the nursery and the many piles of clothing have been so hard the past few weeks. We have started looking into compiling a new dossier for another country and hope to have that completed by Christmas or before. We still intend to pursue the adoption of Derek if the agency returns with news that he is still adoptable. We just don't want to wait to hold our child so we have decided to plunge forward and if we are meant to have 2 more children that that is the way it will work out for us. Keep us in your thoughts and we will continue to update you as we receive news.

Due to some things we have encountered in our adoption process we have made a very hard decision about this blog. We have been forced to change this to a private invitation only blog. I will be making the final cutoff on October 10th so that you will all have plenty of time to get on the list. If you would like to be put onto the invitation list you are welcome to leave us a comment and include your email address. Thanks for following our journey and as soon as things smooth out we will be back on here for all of you to follow to the end. Thanks for all of your wonderful comments and your much needed prayers and support.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.....

Let me hold my baby boy!!!!!

DEVASTATION!!!!!

We received a call that there has been a total devastation in our adoption. Our baby along with the 4 others in the orphange have dossiers that are incomplete and incorrect and possibly unfixable. We are awaiting a call back from our agency in the next 3-4 weeks to give us insight as to whether the dossiers can be fixed and we can continue to move forward giving us at least a 8-9 month time frame from now until he's home or the worst case scenario being that Derek will never come home.
My heart hurts so bad!!! This is my baby boy who God has chosen for me and now He wants to take him away. WHY????????
I can't continue on with such a heavy heart. Please wish us well as we struggle through the next few weeks waiting for the Vietnam Officials decision.

WEEKEND OF FUN....

We had a fun time this weekend all the way around. Friday we chilled out with the girls after heading out for suppe at Friendly's. We also did a little "Derek shopping" again. Gymboree had a HUGE sale and I can't pass them up. I think we now own about half of the store. I just hope he fits into it all when he FINALLY gets home!
Saturday my girls had plans with their dad so they couldn't tag along for our Saturday night adventure but we were lucky enough to take my monm, brither (Ken) and hi 2 boys (Kyle & Kurtis) along to Balloon Fest. It wasn't such a success though due to the windy conditions only 1 balloon was brave (or crazy) enough to take sail. Look how beautiful though!


Here are my nephews looking as though they have about enough of it for the night. It was rather cold and windy and truthfully till it was all over we all had enough for the night...


Sunday Norm & I headed to Boyd's Bear Bingo for the afternoon. e didn't win a thing but we had a great time smiling across the table at each other. Then we went to a local fair Sunday night and stuffed our bellies FULL!!!!

I was hoping for a little jingle of news today but that didn't happen. Hopefully by the end of the week we will have an update again.

Stay tuned....

PLEASE DON"T ASK WHY......

Because I don't have the answer. Yesterday we received our update from our agency. Our director had spent 3 weeks in Vietnam trying to tie up some ends and speed along our adoption of Derek. No success!!!! Instead we were hit yesterday with the fact of no travel until late November or early December. And truthfully....I will only believe it when I get the call to go. We were so sure that this was going to be the final delay when they told us October buy that hasn't been the case once again. We have been at this point in the road way too long now. Actually I am still feeling shocked and the pani attacks are still hitting me pretty hard. I am fearful of depression at this point. How much can one family take???!!!! I just don't understand. Now they tell us December and I just don't want to be spending Christmas there away from my girls. It's going to be a loooooong 3 months ahead.

SULKING....
That's the only title I could think of to describe my mood today! I can't stop thinking about the update that is yet to come hopefully next week. Our program director is in VN until tomorrow and will hopefully return on Monday with a world of information for us. My fear....another stupid delay. I can't continue being nice guy everytime we get a delay anymore. This is getting crazy. I fear not so great news because whenever the director has good news he shares it and we haven't heard any news back from him in the 3 weeks he has been in Vietnam....SCARY!!!!!


On to better things....
I thought I would take a little time and tell you about Michelle's visit. We had a blast. It was a jam packed schedule but we got it all in. She did tell me it took a lot of sleep upon her return home to catch up though. Take a look at a few photos of things we did together:
Here we are picking Michelle up at the airport.

And we brought her to this...


We spent a few hours checking out Chocolate World in Hershey, PA

Oh and another great highlight was our trip to the Wing Buffet (50+ flavors of wings)

A trip to a local hangout...Norm was our "Party Wagon Driver"

I got in trouble for this one by security

Michelle climbed (not without difficulty) high on top of a rock at Little Roundtop in Gettysburg, PA

Michelle & I stormed Little Roundtop with our captivating ways



It was a truly emotional farewell for me at the return to the airport


It was an absolutely wonderful visit that I wish wouldn't have had to end. The greatest thing of all is that I have found a friend with whom I share a world of likeness with and even though we are on opposite sides of the U.S. we will always have each other. Thanks to the world of technology and my persistance to find someone from the same agency and the same adoption country as us I found Michelle!!! The only consoling words I could hear as she departed from the airport were Norm's words saying how wonderful it was to watch Michelle & I interact and have such a great time together. There was never a moment that didn't feel right. It was like we had been friends or sisters forever. What an awesome time. We now look forward to hopping on a plane and (as Michelle would say) "jet-setting" across the country to her home and to meet Jeff. We can't wait. How wonderful it will be to spend such an important time of our lives together in Vietnam. It really doesn't get any better than this:

NEW PICTURE...
We were awakened today by the sound of the telephones rings. Norm answered as usual and I could hear our CM's voice on the other end. WOOHOO!!! I was hoping for a substantial update however there was no news yet. The positive to the call was that she told us she had placed a new picture of Derek in our inbox. WOW...what a great start to the day and week!!! I love the update days!!! Wish i could post the whole picture but I can't yet. So anyway he is really growing and SOOOOO CUTE!!!!! He is standing so i'm sure it won't be long until those sexy little legs get him from spot to spot. Oh are we in for trouble.
SNEAK PEEK...

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED.....

These are a fun way to learn a little extra about our friends in "Adoption World". Here it goes.
I will list the rules and then on to the game:

Here are the rules of this tag...


You have to post these rules before you give the facts.
Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of your middle name.
**If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.
**When you are tagged, you need to write your own blog post containing your own middle name game facts.
**At the end of your blog post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.
****Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged & to read your blog!

Fortunately for me I have an extremely short middle name!!!

A--Always on this crazy computer looking for any tidbit of info I can find or any encouragement out there from my friends.

N--Norm my hubby is the light in my life. He has been my strength and my contentment through some of the roughest of days on this journey.

N--New friends can be found through this process and I was fortunate enough to reach out and be persistant in finding one and along came "My Michelle".

Now I will TAG 3 people (Bet alot of you out there are glad I have a short name now too aren't you!!!):

Michelle--Harwells.org
Ange--The Road To Vietnam (CONGRATS ON THE NEW REFERRAL!!!)
Jonathan--Days of the Dragon

Have a good time with this it is fun!!!!

24 HOURS

In 24 hours Norm and I will be at the Harrisburg Airport waiting in extreme anticipation for Mihelle's plane to land. Soon I will be able to wrap my arms around my very dear long distance friend and feel the warmth of our friendship. We have journied through this adoption together for 11 months now and with the help of our webcams we have united in a new way. Seeing each other and sharing 4 days together will only add to the excitement of our bond. I cannot wait to see Michelle and to spend our days doing whatever the day brings to us. Keep alert as I will be sure to post some pictures of our exciting reunion together!!!!

Pictures....
No not of Derek but this is his crib bedding that I finally settled on. It looks so cute in his room and it is soft and cuddly. We just need Derek to complete the set. I am going to go to Babies R Us and buy a few of the coordinating pieces to this set. I have to hang the valances yet but other than that we are set. This is the Zanzibar pattern by Kidline. Isn't it too cute!!!!! I chose a design that will grow with him. We will be able to continue to use this on his toddler bed as he passes the next couple years. i also thought since he won't be much of a baby anymore once he is home that a little more mature of a set would be better. Not to mention the previous set I picked out was dicontinued and we didn't get all the accessories for with it and OMG I am all about the accessories!!!!

NEWS, NEWS, NEWS....

First I have to say that I am SOOOOOO excited to tell you that I am going to get to spend 4 wonderful days with...... MICHELLE!!!!! Yes, it's true. Michelle and I have become great looooong distance friends through our adoptions way back in the fall when we began talking. It was like a connection that clicked instantly and as time went on we needed to talk more and more and share all our ups and downs together. When I was down she was up and vice versa. We have complimented each other time and time again. We have shared incredible things through our adoption process. After all Michelle is the one who accidentally got our referral picture and fell in love with him only to find out "he" wasn't a "she" and it wasn't really her referral. She was such a trooper throught that. So I could go on and on with how many things have affected the two of us in mysterious ways. God has been so good. Anyway, I got a call from Michelle that she would be able to book a flight here to spend 4 days together. I CANNOT WAIT!!!!! She will be here in 12 days. We are going to have 4 whole days (not nearly enough but we'll make up for it) together to bond even more. I can't imagine what it will be like to pick her up from the airport. I have never done that before and it's going to be an awesome experience filled with tears of joy. Norm isn't sure he is ready to share me but I think he'll enjoy watching us together. He values our time together but I know he is excited for me to get to be with Michelle. He is a wonderful husband!!!! So stay tuned for lots of pictures of Michelle & I embarking on a new side to our friendship!!!!

In adoption news...we received an update today that we should know more news in a few weeks. Our travel will still be hopefuly October but it has a potential of being later. YUCK!!!! We are praying for Derek to be HOME for Christmas. The paperwork is finalizing and the authorities are getting their loose ends tied up which will hopefully be quick and we can hop on that flight. We'll post more as we hear it!!!!