A local newspaper contacted us to do a story about our adoption experience and we gratefully responded....YES!!!! Norm's sister had adopted 4 years ago so ourstories are linkedtogether in the articletiltled "Adding To The Family". Check it out below.....
Adoption is all in the
family for two local
couples.
Norman and Teresa Lahr of Dornsife adopted
their son, Derek, from Vietnam in
September. Norman's sister, Cheryl
Weaver, and her husband, David,
Herndon, adopted their daughter,
Joanna, in April 2004.
Teresa, who has two daughters,
Alyssa, 16,and Jessica, 12,from a previous
marriage, is unable to have
more children.
"I wanted to give Norm the experience
of being a dad," she said.
The Lahrs started looking into
adoption inAugust 2006 to See if it
Was a good option for them;
"It's not something you just jump into.
We did a lot of research," Norman said.
After six months, they heard about a
newborn who had been abandoned on
the 'doorstep of an orphanage in Da
Nang,Vietnam. The paperwork involved
in international adoptions, however,
slowed the process to a snail's pace.
"We 'learned about him when he
was 3 moriths old," Teresa said. "We
brought him home at 20months."
Cheryl and David Weaver also
expanded their family through adoption,
but took a different approach.
Their daughter, Joanna, 4, joined the
family as a newborn in April 2004
through a domestic open adoption. '
"She was born in Harrisburg,"
Cheryl said.
The Weavers decided a local adoption
was a better option for them.
"We wanted to see what was available
domestic," Cheryl said.,"It's a lot more
to adopt internationally than domestic.
We believed if God had someone domestic,
He'd lead us and He did."
Overcoming challenges
The Lahrs' flight to pick up their
son was long as well.
"We spent 30 hours on the plane, 40
hours with layovers," Teresa said.
Traveling to a country that once had
negative associations with Americans
was an added challenge for the couple.
"We were frightened at first, going
to another country, but everyone was
extremely friendly," Teresa said.
Everyone from the taxi drivers to
the orphanage staff helped make the
Lahrs feel comfortable in a strange
country, they said. Seeing their son
peeking through the courtyard gate at
the orphanage made it all worthwhile,
"He was always the first one at the gate,"
Norman said.
The Lahrs spent three weeks getting
acquainted with the child, which proved to
be a challenge. Derek was so used to the
orphanage, the caretakers and the other children
that he screamed every time the Lahrs
took him out for a walk. He also cried at the
adoption ceremony when he realized he was
leaving the only home he's every known.
"He was petrified; he was afraid of us,"
Teresa said.
A month after leaving Vietnam, Derek
seems to have adjusted well.
He runs around the Lahrs' kitchen,
pushing his high chair like a truck. A typi-
cal toddler, he is curious about everything,
from a camera on the counter to toys scat
tered among the dining room chairs.
He understands English as if he's heard
it all his life, and speaks a handful of
words, Teresa said.
He blows kisses or waves to say goodbye,
and his mischievous grin revealsthe charmer
he is quickly becoming.He loves his older sisters,
and follows them everywhere they go.
"When they come home from school, he
just starts screaming and runs right to
them," Teresa said. "They really enjoy
him, and he enjoys them."
Life with a toddler is busy, Norman said.
"Chaos," Teresa added. "It's a big adjustment."
The move was also an adjustment
for Derek.
"It was a month before he was comfortable
with us," Teresa said.
Derek also learned to adjust to his new surroundings.
He didn't play outside much at the
orPhanage, and had never seen grass before.
"He was afraid of it," Teresa said.
For toddlers, however, playtime trumps
fear. Derek enjoys playing with toy cars
and exploring the Lahrs' spacious home.
"He loves to run," Teresa said.
The Lahrs almost lost the opportunity
to share their home with Derek. The adoption
agency with which they were working
went bankrupt shortly before they were
scheduled to fly to Vietnam to get him. The
case workers, however, continued to work
independently to finish the adoption process
for the Lahrs and several other families.
Norman and Teresa, with the help of
family and friends, raised money to cover
expenses normally covered by the agency.
"It's amazing how your community can
come together for you," Teresa said, grate-
ful for the support.
There is still more work to be done,however.
In order to getDerek a Social Security number,
the Lahrs will have to complete an additional
adoption process in the United States.
Despite the challenges, the Lahrs are
open to adoption in the future.
"I would do it again in a heartbeat,"
Teresa said.
"Keep on telling friends and
family that you're willing to
adopt; that's how we actually
got connected with Joanna's
birth family. "
International adoptions have grown dramatically
since the 1990s.In 1997,13,620chil-
dren were adopted from other countries,
more than twice the number of children
adopted internationally only five years earlier.
By 2007,that number had risen to 20,000,
according to the U.S.Department of State.
Norman and Teresa agreed to adopt a
child from another country instead of trying
to find one in the United States for several
reasons. They are glad they won't
have to worry about his birth parents trying
to take him back.
"That's kind of what we wanted; that's
ideally why we went international," Teresa
said.
They also wanted an Asian child.
"Socially, they are more accepted in our
area," Teresa said.
They also wanted to help a child from a
less fortunate country.
"You see it on television, but you don't realize
how bad it is until you get there, so we
took a child away from that," Norman said.
International adoptions gained popularity
after World War II, when many children
were orphaned by wars in Europe and
Japan. The trend continued after the civil
war in Greece in the late 1940s,the Korean
War and the Vietnam War, according to the
Evan B.Donaldson Adoption Institute. More
than 250,000children from other countries
were adopted by Americans between 1971
and 2001,most of them coming from Asia.
Norman and Teresa plan to teach Derek
about his heritage, a lesson he is already
learning.
Derek, who will turn 2 in January, seems
to already understand differences in race.
He first made the distinction during a visit
to a local restaurant where many of the ~
servers are Asian.
"He kept saying the same word over and
over to our waitress; I think he was trying
to talk to her in Vietnamese," Teresa said.
Teresa sees no difference between her
connection to her biological children and
her connection to Derek. .
"I will always see him as my own child,"
she said. -
"I love him," Norman added.
In God's hands I~
Joanna is the Weavers' only child. .
"We just wanted to have someone we could share our love with," Cheryl said.
They had considered adoption for five
years before Joanna entered their lives, and
like Norman and Teresa, had endured the
long process of paperwork and waiting.
"We had done probably two or three years
of working with an agency; just waiting for
a domestic adoption and nothing ever came
about," Cheryl said. The Weavers wanted to
adopt a newborn or very young child, however,
many domestic adoptions involve older
children in the foster care system.
The number of imants available for private
adoption has been dropping, according
to the Donaldson institute. Reasons
include increased access to contraception,
legalization of abortion and increased
social acceptance of single parenthood.
Between 1989 and 1995,1.7 percent of children
born to single white women were
adopted, a significant drop from the 19.3
percent born before 1973.
The Weavers were ready to try another
agency when they heard al::>9ut.J.oanna:s
mother through a friend. The family's quest
to adopt a child quickly gained speed.
"In four months, we were mom and dad.
It went very fast," she said.
The Weavers encourage prospective
adoptive parents to network.
"Keep on telling friends and family that
you're willing to adopt; that's how we actually
got connected with Joanna's birth
family;" she added.
The Weavers still have contact with
Joanna's birth family.
For the first year and a half as parents,
the Weavers communicated with Joanna's
birth mother through letters. She now visits
Joanna on holidays.
Cheryl understands some adopting parents
are concerned about losing the child to
the birth parents, but was assured by the law.
"I see no threat at all because once they
sign their rights away, there's no going
~ back," she said. "It was a very pleasant,
, very happy adoption."
The Weavers' experience with adoption
was not without some concern. Even after
birth parents signed the agreement to terminate
their parental rights, the Weavers waited
six months for the process to fmalize.
"The first week or so, I didn't want to
answer the phone," Cheryl said.
Then, David and Cheryl put their faith
in God.
"We went to church the next Sunday and
the sermon was for me: God is in control,
don't worry. It'll all work out, and it did.
Everything was fine," she added.
As any family with a newborn understands,
fine means busy, too.
"The first year,was a big adventure but we
just trusted in God that He would see things
through, and He did," Cheryl said. "It is a
roller coaster,but it's a fun roller coaster." .
The ride has been worth it for the Weavers.
"She's our little angel from Heaven,"
Cheryl said.
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